For the past couple months, there hasn’t been a day that you don’t come across my mind. I sit and think about all the good times we had and great memories we made. There are times where I’m lacking that and feel you would fit perfect in that void that wants to be filled. Now it doesn’t last just a moment, it’s there every time you cross my mind.
We use to talk about everything. There wasn’t anything you didn’t know about me or me about you. We were each others shoulders to lean on. Now
WE don’t exist. We are merely strangers again 😦
Ending result of that is fault of my own. I tend to walk away from a situation in which doesn’t fit in the equation. Instead of talking, I just step back and hope that it blows over. Normally it works but in this case, that step back amounted to me losing my friend.
I look back and realized I should’ve spoke up. It came to a point where I was no longer comfortable in our friendship. I felt myself slowly fading out to find more comfort in hopes that it didn’t affect what we had. I gradually stopped responding to text messages and lets not talk about calls.
I felt bad, I really did but at that point we were so far gone that I didn’t know how to come back from it. The reason we stopped was me but the turn off events occurred when lines were crossed.
I always knew to an extent that there was an attraction to me on your side of things but never did I think we’d get here. The slight touches here and there, I turned a blind eye to. Wanting to hold my hand (which I don’t like in general) raised a flag among other things.
I felt I was pretty clear in the facts that I didn’t see you in that manner. You are a beautiful individual with a great heart and a wonderful friend but lines I thought I had drawn may not have been so clear.
All that aside, I miss my friend and I constantly think on how I can reconcile this and take a step towards building a friendship again. I know it will never be the same but something is better than nothing. I’m tired of wondering how you’re doing and not being able to ask. I often times think that is all it takes to reach out but I guess I’ve been over thinking it.
One day I’ll be brave enough to hit that send button on the message that has been sitting there for months.
I think its time for me to take the step towards reconciliation. I just hope you’re open to it as well. Unfortunately, I don’t know where this will take us. If we will reconnect and be good. Reconnect and find we don’t fit in each others lives anymore or that although there were reason for our separation that ultimately we still just grew apart from each other.
Only time will tell if strangers can become friends again.
Have you ever been in a situation where a friendship you once had became one that you wanted to reconcile? Did you? How did it turn out?
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