Thanksgiving Just Wasn’t The Same

Normally Thanksgiving for my family consisted of all my family under one roof . Watching TV (mostly football), laughing, drinking, playing games etc. All while my aunt threw down in the kitchen making her mac & cheese, yummy potato salad and her famous fried chicken. Of course amongst other things.

Without fail, there was always someone, 2 people in particular, fussing with one another because someone had an opinion, lol. All out of love of course. Actually, this wasn’t any different than any other day so that’s one thing that remained the same, lol. Thanksgiving always felt great, homey, and full of love & family. With that being said, this thanksgiving didn’t feel much like the rest.

This year, thanksgiving brought about a feeling in myself that felt all too familiar and not in a good way. Just a real eerie feeling. I remember what thanksgiving , well the holidays in general felt when my dad passed. No holiday or day for that matter has yet to feel the same. It felt……empty. A void yearning to be filled. 

This year was the first year we as a “family” had thanksgiving in the house and my aunts lovely aromas from her cooking didn’t fill the house. The first thanksgiving in the house where my aunt was not able to be with us. My aunt departed this earth about 16 months ago and no day since has been easy. Lets just say that this thanksgiving wasn’t easy either. She was the glue that brought us together and kept us together.

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Granted, like I said, we did have thanksgiving dinner but it just wasn’t the same. The family was there under one roof, however, the crowd was a lot smaller than I remember when she was here. It just didn’t feel very family oriented. She was the family and she wasn’t there.

I know you’re probably thinking that you’re supposed to be grateful during this time of year. And you would be correct but for me I felt that we focused a little more on her absence than we did the holiday and its meaning. But can you blame us, no right?! It was hard to look at the bigger picture when the last puzzle piece was missing.

Although, I know she is and was looking down on us that day we just couldn’t help but wish she was there with us. In her absence, I hope that we did her proud as we prepared our first thanksgiving dinner without her.

Don’t worry Auntie, nobody burned down the house, lol.  I even held it down in the kitchen and cook some of the dishes. Glad I’m one in the family who picked up the cooking gene. 😉 

Like my little cousin said, “Thanksgiving just didn’t feel like thanksgiving” and I must say, I agree.

Regardless of what I thought of the day itself, I am still thankful. Thankful that no matter the circumstance & how many people were there, we were still able to come together and pull off our first thanksgiving dinner. No matter how hard it was.

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We love and miss every ounce of your being. Whether it was thanksgiving, today, or any other day, your presence is truly missed.

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12 thoughts on “Thanksgiving Just Wasn’t The Same

  1. Marquita

    This is how my first Christmas was after my Grandma passed. But it makes us laugh and smile of the stories, the food (I learned some of her signature dishes), and still being able to get together. Thanks for sharing your story.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I know what you mean. Who will fill that void and can it even be filled by anyone else? I think as time goes on, our holidays change and the way we feel about them. Now that I’m a mom, I sometimes feel like I’m reliving those childhood feelings of joy during the holidays because I see how happy my little ones are to be around their cousins. It’s like a role reversal and now I am the mom looking at my children enjoying life without a care in the world.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Wow, this is a deep post and relatable for many people I’m sure. My grandmother and her brother (my great uncle) would always come to our house for Thanksgiving, then he passed in 2008 and holidays still are not the same. However we use our family time together to reflect and remember our loved ones who are no longer with us and enjoy each other’s company. I know how you feel and I’m sure your aunt was smiling down on you all! 💜

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I know this feeling all too well. It’s nice to be with family but it’s sad because a big piece of you is missing. I’m so glad you all were able to power through and still enjoy the time you had together.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. lporter18

    Such a beautiful blog post! I felt the same way my friend. My mom passed away in December 2015 and I feel the holidays hust aren’t the same. I cooked for my husband and boys, but that’s it. No family gatherings. I’m just not in the mood. Not only do I have the holidays, but her birthday is tomorrow. Such a sad time of the year. Peace and blessings!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I know this EXACT feeling. I do the holidays honest just for my family. Its no longer for me anymore. I hope you find some peace in your day tomorrow for yourself to celebrate her birthday! No matter how long its been its always hard. Here if you ever want someone to talk to or vent. Feel free to hit me up. E-mail: kimoji1988@gmail.com

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